The Clap

The new U2 album (No Line On The Horizon) 

was released (or 'dropped' as the kids say...) yesterday.

I've heard a bit of it, and I imagine I'll check out the rest. 

I like quite a few of their albums, particularly "Boy" and "The Joshua Tree."

Which takes me to the point of this blog:
This is surely fiction, but it's a great story. Hilarious.

At a U2 concert in Scotland, Bono asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to clap his hands slowly, 

once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, 

he said into the microphone, 

“Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.”

The crowd was silent as Bono continued the slow clapping.

Finally from the front of the crowd a drunken voice 

with a deep Scottish brogue shouted,
“Well, fookin' stop clapping then, ya evil bastard!”

KJT - Seattle (2009)

[+/-] Show Full Post...

[+/-]Hide Full Post...

Boy or Girl?

"I never had long hair before I got busted.

I never had a beard before I got busted."

- Charles Manson, American criminal lunatic (1934- )

During the late 1980's I was sporting quite a plumage of long, rocker hair, and during the winter & spring (ski season) I also grew quite a thick beard. (See above picture)

One day I was at a gas station and I noticed two young kids staring at me intently. Their mother was also getting gas, but she was around on the other side of her car. The little boy must have been about 3 or 4 and the little girl was probably about 7 or 8. They were just staring at me.

I finally said, "Hi, how are you guys doing?"

The little boy turned and whispered something to his sister. She turned to me and said, "He wants to know if you are a boy or a girl?"

A bit flummoxed by this forthright assault on my obvious manliness, I stammered, "Uh... I'm a boy..."

She said, by way of explanation, "He's never seen a boy with long hair before."

"Well, some boys have long hair," I replied, a bit defensively.

"I know," she said. "I've seen lots of boys with long hair."

"Really," I replied. "Where?"

"Oh, places like the dump..."

KJT - Ft. Collins, CO (1989)

[+/-] Show Full Post...

[+/-]Hide Full Post...

Comedy Relief

"Time marches on

For whom the bell tolls."

- Metallica, "For Whom The Bell Tolls" (1984)

I dug out another picture from my damp, dark past.

Another shot of a random day-in-the-life of music store slackers.

That's me, third from left, in all my long-hair plumage glory.

Please note the reflective Gargoyles sunglasses and 

requisite "Metal Up Your Ass" Metallica t-shirt & faded jean jacket.

Walking cliche. 

Ah, but they were fun times.

KJT - Colorado (circa 1988-89)

[+/-] Show Full Post...

[+/-]Hide Full Post...

Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover

"Damn, I wish I was your lover

I'll rock you till the daylight comes..."

- Sophie B. Hawkins, "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" (1992)

For about five years in the late 80's/early 90's I worked in a corporate music store in a mall in Colorado. First as a customer service clown and eventually as the assistant manager. I worked with some crazy people over that time, but there were a core group of four of us, including our manager, who were absolute music fanatics, and for the most part we had a blast. 

We loved music, but hated being in a mall, and detested most of the customers too. We were all in it for ourselves - for our love of music, to be able to get that next cool CD at a discount, and to find out when that missing re-release would finally come out. We were more than a bit pretentious and snobby and rolled our eyes constantly at the customers. Imagine "Hi Fidelity," with Phil as the steadying hand of John Cusak's Rob Gordon behind the counter.

A friend and former co-worker from back then recently regaled me with a funny incident from the store and it sparked a cavalcade of memories, a couple of which I thought I'd share here...

1) One day a man in his mid-thirties was walking up and down the aisles, scanning the titles of all the tapes and singles, obviously looking without much luck for a certain song. My friend, Corey, approached the man and asked if he could help him find anything. The man looked up from the wall of tapes and simply said, 

"Damn, I wish I was your lover."

This was the title of a song very popular at that time, a fact known full well by Corey, as we had been selling tons of it. Instead of pointing out the song to the man, Corey jumped back in mock-indignation and said in a loud voice, "Sir, I don't even KNOW you."

The vision of the man sputtering and stuttering with a bright red face as he tried to explain will remain with me always.

2) In 1990 one of the biggest sellers we had at the store, much to our chagrin, was the pop group Milli Vanilli. We hated Milli Vanilli. Despised their music, their fans, and their whole phenomenon. When the news broke that they didn't really sing on their records and lip-synched in their concerts we laughed to ourselves and decided unilaterally that anyone who had purchased one of their albums from our store would not be allowed a refund (which our corporate leaders had instructed us to do). I'm sure we sent more than a few young waifs out the door in tears.

KJT - Ft. Collins, CO. (1988-1993)

[+/-] Show Full Post...

[+/-]Hide Full Post...