The Clap

The new U2 album (No Line On The Horizon) 

was released (or 'dropped' as the kids say...) yesterday.

I've heard a bit of it, and I imagine I'll check out the rest. 

I like quite a few of their albums, particularly "Boy" and "The Joshua Tree."

Which takes me to the point of this blog:
This is surely fiction, but it's a great story. Hilarious.

At a U2 concert in Scotland, Bono asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to clap his hands slowly, 

once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, 

he said into the microphone, 

“Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.”

The crowd was silent as Bono continued the slow clapping.

Finally from the front of the crowd a drunken voice 

with a deep Scottish brogue shouted,
“Well, fookin' stop clapping then, ya evil bastard!”

KJT - Seattle (2009)

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A Chance Encounter (or "How I Met My Wife")

"Please Baby... Let's get it right
I don't think I can take it...one more night.
I know I love you, I love you, I love you as though the stars are mine
So please Baby, show me you are mine."
- Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, "Please Baby" (1998)





In the late 90's I worked as a bartender at the Broadway Grill on Seattle's Capitol Hill. Capitol Hill is an eclectic, sort of arty, bohemian neighborhood - or it tries to be. It's where I lived, and it's also the predominant gay neighborhood in Seattle. The Broadway Grill was one of the main hangouts to see and be seen. 

I was good friends with another bartender who worked across the street at a bar called Charlie's. She would come in to the Broadway and drink when she was off work, and I would go to Charlie's and drink when I was off and she was working. At that time she was also dating one of the female servers at the Broadway, and we would hangout for cocktails and whatnot occasionally.

On Valentine's Day of 1998, my bartender friend was sitting at my bar in the late morning. It was a Saturday and she had just had breakfast and was nursing a Bloody Mary. Her girlfriend would stop by and talk to her (and nibble off her plate) while she was working her own section of the restaurant. At one point they asked me what I was doing that night - since it was Valentine's Day. I laughed and told them I had no plans, since I wasn't dating anyone at the time. They invited me to go out with them to the Re-Bar that night. The Re-Bar is a gay (or gay-friendly, at least) bar downtown, just down from Capitol Hill. That night was Lesbians in Love night to celebrate the holiday. I laughed again and asked if they were serious. They both nodded and said that they were just going to hang out and play pool and they wanted me to go along. Since I had no plans, and would be able to hang out with two beautiful women, I decided to do it.

We got there around 9 or 10 pm, got some beers, and retired to the pool room to shoot a few games. After a while I wandered out to the main area, which had a large dance floor and a long bar at the back. I stood off to the side, leaning against the wall and nursed my beer. I watched the dancers and sighed at all the beautiful women who weren't playing for my team. There were a few men there too, in couples or by themselves - so I didn't completely stand out, but was certainly in the minority as a man, and even more so as a straight man. I noticed in particular a redhead dancing by herself at times, and with a few friends at other times. I have a particularly strong attraction to redheads (a compulsion really), and so I watched her with keen interest.

After some time the redhead broke away from her friends and walked directly towards me. She stopped in front of me and said, "Can I ask you something?"

Surprised, I stammered, "Sure."

"Are you gay or are you straight?" she inquired.

I laughed. It was a question I got a lot working at the Broadway. Most everyone assumes you're gay if you work there. But after they'd see me eyeing the female customers or comparing notes with the lesbians (we would give each other a 'head's up' if a particularly striking female would come into the restaurant) - they would often ask me exactly the same question.

"I'm straight," I replied.

"Thank you," she said, and immediately turned around, took a couple steps and yelled to her friends across the bar, "I TOLD you so!"

I stood there stunned and amused as she made her way back to her group of friends. I wasn't sure what to do next. She was beautiful and so I was certainly interested. But I realized with a smile that now I didn't know if SHE was straight or gay. I wandered back into the pool room to discuss the strange happening with my friends. They both demanded that I go talk to her, at the very least to see what persuasion she was. After a couple more beers and some more convincing (I'm a bit shy) I decided that I didn't have anything to lose and that I should at least find out her name and what her forthright question and odd response to my answer was all about.

I made my way back out to the bar area and scanned the crowd. For a moment I was afraid she might have left. Then I spotted her standing near the bar.

I approached her and said, "Can I ask you a question?" She smiled and said, "I'm straight. I'm just here with my friends dancing."

I smiled back and said, "What's your name?"

"Stacie," she replied.

"I'm Kevin, would you like to dance?" It was the only other thing I could think of to say.

It should be pointed out at this time that I do not dance. Or at least, if I do dance, I don't dance well. I would be the visual definition of the stereotypical non-rhythmic white-guy. I'm probably not as bad as Elaine Benes from Seinfeld - but I'm really (really) not a good dancer. But I had nothing else at that moment, so we danced. I do like to dance, if I'm tipsy enough not to feel too self-conscious. So we danced. And it was fun. She had a great smile, and she, at least, could dance. I shuffled and flapped about and watched her move smoothly to the beat of the music.

The night got late and I had to open the bar the next morning - being there at 7 am. Gotta be ready to serve the morning drunks their Bloody Mary's right on time at 8 o'clock. Even had one guy who would be there at opening to have a straight shot of Rye whiskey. I decided to try to play it cool, and so I told her that I had to go. I told her I wanted her number, but that I probably wouldn't call her. I told her that I would love to see her again and that I worked at the Broadway Grill and that if she came in while I was working I would buy her a drink and we could talk. Then I left.

It was a good walk home, as I felt exhilarated and alive. Happy. The cold February chill sent shivers through my body as I smiled and thought of the redhead.

It was a few days later that she came in to the bar. It was a weekday evening and I was tending alone. She came up and sat at the first stool and said, "Hi, do you remember me?"

I said, "Sure, Stacie right?"

She nodded and I held out my hand and said, "Kevin. Nice to see you again."

She stayed there for a few hours and we got to know each other a bit better. I had one ticket to see "Big Bad Voodoo Daddy" that Friday night at the Fenix Underground, a club downtown. I asked her if she wanted to go with me. She said she would and we made a date to meet at the J&M Café in Pioneer Square that night before the show.

Friday night at the J&M, and she was right on time. We had a couple cocktails (Tanqueray & Tonics - it would become our signature drink) and made small talk for a bit. Then we walked over to the Fenix. I had my ticket and had planned on just buying one for her at the door. When we walked up I saw, to my dismay, that the show was sold out. I asked the door guy if there were any tickets left and he shook his head.

At the spur of the moment I surreptitiously slid a twenty dollar bill onto his clipboard and asked him to check and see if she was on the "guest list." (I think I even used air quotes). He stared at me for a moment, probably saw the pleading look in my eyes, looked down at his clipboard again, and said, "Oh yeah, here she is."

I was astounded. It actually worked. It was like a scene out of a movie. A river of relief flooded my veins. He stamped us both and we went inside. The band was rocking and we danced, laughed, and partied through the night. To this day I still crack a smile when I hear Big Bad Voodoo Daddy play "You and Me and the Bottle Make Three Tonight."

And that, my friends, is the story of how I met my future wife.

KJT - Seattle (1998)

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Do I Make You HORNY, Baby?

"New Orleans music,

gonna rock all day, 

roll all night..."

- Rebirth Brass Band, "New Orleans Music" (2001)

Went to a killer show tonight at the Tractor Tavern in Ballard. 

Saw The Rebirth Brass Band from New Orleans.

Killer HORNS: 3 trumpets, 2 trombones, tuba, sax, 

snare drum, bass drum...

A. MAZE. ING.

Second time I've seen these guys, and they sure bring it.

They really whip up a tasty musical gumbo of 

jazzy/funky/bluesy/second line/dixieland swing.

If you get a chance to see them, do NOT miss out. 

This music is good for your soul. Dancing: mandatory.

Here's a brief snippet from tonight's show...

They are playing tomorrow (now tonight - the 8th) in Portland, OR.

Jan. 9th and 10th in San Francisco, and the 11th in Los Angeles.

So Brett, Carey, Paul, and Sharon... there you have it. Get yours.

KJT - Seattle (2009)

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Live Music Memories - UPDATED!!

"...excitement blew out of his eyes in stabs of fiendish light. He rolled his neck in spastic ecstasy. He lisped, he writhed, he flopped, he moaned, he howled, he fell back in despair. He could hardly get a word out, he was so excited with life. 

Dean stood before him with head bowed, 

repeating over and over again, 

"Yes... yes.... yes... man he's the end! 

You see, if you go like him all the time you'll finally get it."
"Get what?"
"IT! IT!..."
- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road" (1957)




I've always loved that passage from "On the Road" when Jack and Neal (Sal & Dean) go to see a jazz concert and are swept up in "IT": the passion and ecstasy of live music...

I was cleaning out a drawer recently and stumbled across a stack of old concert tickets. It made me think about some of the great live music I've seen over the years. Tried to decide what my top concerts would be... easier said than done. I posted some of the tickets from these shows above, some tickets have been lost to history.

TOP FIVE CONCERTS:

1.) PSYCHODELIC ZOMBIEZ, 1995(?), The Fox Theater, Boulder. 

I don't have a ticket for this one, but it set the standard. The Zombiez, despite their rather scary name, are a groove/funk/rock band from Colorado with an amazing horn section: trombone, sax, trumpets, alto sax, more sax - the works - think Weapon of Choice meets Fishbone. They must have had 15 people on stage playing. I've never felt that kind of power coming off a stage before or since. It was almost something tangible - like a giant wave of music cresting over the audience and physically crashing down upon us. Beautiful and terrifying all at once. I danced and jived until I was a sweaty mess - I remember thinking at the time, "This is the "IT" Kerouac was talking about." Didn't make it home until late the next afternoon. I don't think the mushrooms played any part in it.

2.) THE CURE, 1996, McNichols Arena, Denver, "Wild Mood Swings" tour. Not one of my favorite albums - but the concert was amazing. Probably because they played almost all of "Disintegration." Set included a mesmerizing 30+ minute version of "Prayers for Rain" with the band lit from behind so they were all in silhouette. I remember being entranced. When the song finished I thought, 

"Well, I guess I don't need to see any live shows anymore..."

3.) BIG BAD VOODOO DADDY, 1998, The Fenix, Seattle. 

The first date I ever had with my future-wife. I had met her just a week before. I had a ticket to the show and she didn't. I remember sliding the doorman a $20 and asking him to "look at the guest list again." He "found" her name and we were in. We danced and laughed and drank all night. A great start to a continuing romance. 

You and Me & the Bottle Make 3 Tonight!
Here's the entire story: Chance Encounter

4.) THE AFGHAN WHIGS, 1999, The Showbox, Seattle. 

Playing for SubPop's 10th anniversary party. One of my favorite bands fronted by one of my favorite singer/musicians, Greg Dulli. An amazing performance in the old Showbox, before the refurbishment - one of the best live venues I've ever been in.

5.) GEORGE CLINTON & THE P-FUNK ALL-STARS, 1996, The Fenix, Seattle. What an introduction to Seattle. My best friend, who's house I had just moved into from Colorado the DAY BEFORE, had a ticket waiting for me when I arrived. We took the bus downtown and witnessed one truly ridiculously amazing whacky silly solid show. Seriously. Off the hook.

Honorable mentions:
THE ROLLING STONES,1994, Mile High Stadium, Denver. Simply because they are my favorite band. I would have loved to have seen them in their heyday with Brian Jones or Mick Taylor, but I'll take what I can get. A 20-minute version of "Miss You" didn't hurt either...

MAKTUB, 2003, Liquid Lounge at EMP, Seattle. Local Seattle neo-soul/funk/rock band. Played their asses off that night. 

Turned it up to eleven.

MACEO PARKER, 1997(?), The Showbox, Seattle. 

Again, before the refurbishment. The guy had to be what 55 years old at the time? I was in my twenties (OK, late twenties) - and he wore me out. He blew the hell out of that horn for almost four straight hours. I was exhausted, delirious, and enraptured by the end of the show.

JAMES BROWN & MACEO PARKER, 2000, Key Arena, Seattle. 

The Godfather of Soul along with maybe the greatest sax player of all time. Enough said. Period.

JANE'S ADDICTION, 1990, Mammoth Events Center, Denver. 

Just after the release of "Ritual de lo Habitual." Primus opened for them. It just doesn't get any better than Jane's.

THE THE, 2000, The Showbox, Seattle. One of my favorite bands from the 80s/90s hitting the concert scene again. Oh yeah. 

"Mind Bomb" is still a favorite album.

THE TWILIGHT SINGERS, 2000, The Showbox, Seattle. Greg Dulli 

(of Afghan Whigs) returns with his new band. Hits another home run.

JOHNETTE NAPOLITANO, 2007, The Triple Door, Seattle. 

My new favorite place to see a show. The ex-lead singer of Concrete Blonde (another of my fave bands) put on an intimate, acoustic/piano show that still haunts me.

IRON MAIDEN, 1983, McNichols Arena, Denver. My VERY FIRST concert. "Piece of Mind" tour. My mom drove me and a friend up from Fort Collins. Scrawny little eighth-grade kids headbanging in the upper deck, getting a contact high from all the pot-smoking going on around us, and loving it. Total Bevis & Butthead moment.

OZZY OSBOURNE, 1984, McNichols Arena, Denver. 

My SECOND concert ever. My mom drove me and a friend up from Fort Collins. Again. Motley Crue opened. "Bark at the Moon" & "Shout at the Devil" two-fer. Can you say "Metal Rules!"

CONCRETE BLONDE, 1990, some shitty little club in downtown Denver. Excellent, dark, moody show. From the "Bloodletting" tour. 

I love her.

ELVIN JONES, 2000, Paris Jazz Festival, Bois de Vincennes, Paris. Amazing jazz drummer who used to play with John Coltrane, Miles Davis, and Charlie Parker. A legend. Glad I got to see him before he passed. And what better venue than the sprawling city park on the outskirts of Paris on a warm summer evening.

ANI DiFRANCO, 1998, Pier 62, Seattle waterfront. 

Summer Nights At the Pier. Sun setting over Puget Sound. Concert set up out over the water on the pier. High-rises of downtown behind us. Stacie and I still in the courting phase.

MICHAEL FRANTI, 2003, The Showbox, Seattle. 

"Everyone Deserves Music" tour. My calves were sore for weeks after this one - OD'd on jumping and dancing.

OK, that's about it. I'm probably forgetting a few that I truly loved, like Prince at the Paramount, Mazzy Star at the King Cat Theater, and Charlie Hunter at Jazz Alley, but oh well...

UPDATE, NOVEMBER 8: Thanks for all the great concert memories posted to the comments - sparked a few that I had forgotten about (which I knew would happen...) A few are important enough I wanted to list them:

P.J. HARVEY, 2007, The Showbox, Seattle. 

One of my favorite singers - haunting, scary, brilliant. 

Unforgettable show, that I promptly forgot!

REBIRTH BRASS BAND, 2005(?), The Tractor Tavern, Seattle. 

Phenomenal live brass/second line/jazz/funk/party band from New Orleans. Another dance-a-thon. They are coming back to the Tractor this January. I'll be there...

B.B. KING, 2004, Jazz Alley, Seattle. 

The king of the blues brought his Lucille up to the Pacific Northwest and lit it up. Pretty much brought the house to tears.

SOUNDGARDEN, 1991, some small club, Denver. 

"Badmotorfinger" tour. Segued into a bit of Ted Nugent's "Stranglehold" right in the middle of one of their songs. 

Chris Cornell has one of the best voices in rock.

SMASHING PUMPKINS/RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS/PEARL JAM, 1991, Denver Coliseum, Denver. No one knew who Pearl Jam was yet (except for us, since we worked in a record store), Jeremy hadn't been released as a single yet, and we went to the show with an enigmatic man we knew named Hugo. He claimed he knew the band, new the Chili Peppers, and could get us back stage. Yeah right, we thought. Well, we watch the concert - which was great, all three bands ON FIRE. Then Hugo leads us around behind the stage, security lets us all through, Eddie Vedder spies Hugo and gives him a shout and a big hug. We were speechless. We got to talk to everyone in the band, discussed Freddie Mercury's recent passing, and met Flea and Anthony from the Chili's as well. Surreal evening.

LOLLAPALOOZA (Pearl Jam/Soundgarden/Ministry/Lush/Jesus & Mary Chain/Ice Cube/Red Hot Chili Peppers), 1992, Fiddler's Green, Denver. Went down to my friend's house in Denver before the show for some illegal pre-partying. The entire concert was one big blur - but we had a blast. The fans during Ministry's set terrified me.

STEVE MILLER BAND, 1990, Red Rocks, outside of Denver. 

Great, smooth show, highlighted by a half-hour version of 

"I Want To Make The World Turn Around."

METALLICA/THE CULT, 1989, Red Rocks, outside of Denver. 

Two great bands on one bill in an epic concert setting. I caught a drum stick from Matt Sorum of the Cult and a guitar pick from Kirk Hammett of Metallica during this show (we were fifth row.)

WARRIOR SOUL, 1990, Bangles Bar, Denver. 

Another great show, just had to mention it.

So my question for you is this, what are YOUR TOP FIVE CONCERTS?
Leave your own list in the comments section below:
KJT - Seattle (2008)

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The Big Easy

"There is a house in New Orleans

They call the Rising Sun

And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy

And God, I know I'm one..."

- The Animals, "House of the Rising Sun" (1964)

It was late. We were all quite "in our cups" as I liked to say. We had made the introduction of the Mint Julep, the Ramos Gin Fizz, a Hurricane, and numerous beers. We'd been imbibing since dinner 

(red beans & rice/crawfish po' boys) - and it was now well past midnight. We had roamed from one bar to the next inside the French Quarter. Our only criteria: live music. And we'd found a smorgasbord. All evening we'd been treated to the best the Crescent City had to offer: a rich musical gumbo of funk, jazz, blues, cajun, and second line sounds all liberally seasoned with as much trumpet, sax, tuba, trombone, and stride piano as we could stomach. Now, as we stumbled along Decatur street some distance from Jackson Square, we could smell the Mississippi just over the levee. We were making a roundabout way back to our hotel as a vague light in the eastern sky was slowly erasing the dark. Suddenly P stopped short. "Wait," he hissed. "Listen." In the distance we could just make out the high, thin wail of a lone brass instrument. "BONE!" P cried. "I hear trombone!" He had a huge, Cheshire grin and a wild, manic light in his eyes. He raised his finger and pointed. "This way..." He turned north and began to follow the music, being led by the pied piper once again. We looked at each other, shrugged and then followed willingly, realizing that this night would not end with the dawn...

KJT - New Orleans, Louisiana (2003)

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